Are You Buying the Product – or the Praise?
If by magic, only you could see it, would you still buy it?
This one question strips away our elaborate justifications and reveals the truth about why we buy things.
Much of what we buy (and do) is for others – more than we care to admit. We’re masterful at convincing ourselves otherwise, creating stories that protect our self-image as rational, independent thinkers.
But we’re not. Entire industries thrive on our willingness to pay massive premiums for status markers. A £20,000 Rolex instead of a £200 Seiko. A £4,000 Louis Vuitton bag instead of a £120 M&S. £30 Aesop hand soap instead of £3 alternatives. A £30,000 wedding instead of an equally beautiful, intimate ceremony.
We tell ourselves compelling stories: “It’s about the craftsmanship.” “I appreciate the heritage.” “This is an investment.” And sometimes those stories contain threads of truth.
But the biggest reason? External validation. Admiration. The rush when someone notices.
We’re social creatures wired for connection and recognition. Even the most fiercely independent among us will swoon when their luxury purchase gets even the smallest acknowledgment.
The irony is that we’re so desperate for acceptance or to be thought of as superior that we’ll pay a fortune for it – all whilst we skimp on our weekly food shop.
The next time you reach for your debit card, pause. Remove the imagined audience. Strip away the fantasy of who you’ll become. And ask yourself: “If no one else could see it, would I still want it?” Is this purchase an expression of who I truly am, or who I want others to think I am?
This isn’t to guilt yourself, but to free yourself. It’s more than a way of spending less money – it’s a way of acting in a way that aligns with who you truly are.
Because the things you’d buy when no one’s watching? Those are the things that actually matter to you.
Read this next: Dwight Schrute Is My Life Coach