Heroism in the Age of Dishwashers
I saw a TikTok where a wife said that when her husband claimed he’d do anything for her, he meant fighting off bears and going into battle. Not putting the washing away.
There’s a lesson about life and love in that quip. When we’re young, we imagine life’s defining moments as grand and cinematic – standing firm against formidable foes and making dramatic declarations of love. What we don’t realise is that most of life’s biggest battles will be boring and monotonous. Often that’s precisely why they’re challenging.
It’s not about dramatic gestures or heroic moments. It’s about turning up day-in, day-out, to do something mundane that you don’t particularly enjoy. Loading the dishwasher for the thousandth time. Having the same conversation with your partner about household chores. Plodding through another week at work.
Sometimes the challenge isn’t about fighting at all, but about resisting the urge to fight. It’s holding your tongue when you could lash out. It’s choosing the difficult conversation over the slammed door.1 It’s declining the dessert when your body is screaming for a sweet treat. Life is won or lost in the quiet moments nobody applauds you for. Battles that are often internal.
It’s not whether you’d leap in front of a bus to save your loved one . It’s whether you’ll stand in the rain for ages outside the train station because your girlfriend was delayed due to chatting – without making them feel guilty about it. The real test of love is whether you’ll do that monotonous job without being asked and without expecting a pat on the back.
Glory isn’t on the imagined battlefields, but in the quiet dignity of showing up for the small things, again and again and again.
I struggle a lot with this one. ↩︎
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