“Humanity is just not what I think it is.”

Louis Theroux has a new TV series out called “Forbidden America”. In this week’s episode he looked at the business of porn in the post-MeToo world.

One of the people he interviewed was a woman named Jen Mondello (AKA Jennifer Steele), who was raped by pornstar Ron Jeremy.

When telling the story to Theroux she said that right after the assault:

“that was when the switch flipped, of… humanities just not what I think it is.

That moment is one that too many people have to sadly go through at some point in their lives. And it causes a real shift in sensitivity. From optimism to pessimism. From mostly happy to mostly sad.

Before that moment, you’re aware of the horrors of the world. You read news stories about it and hear it second hand from others and reply “that’s awful”. But it’s distant somehow. It never really connects.

But then an event occurs that changes that. It could be something huge and horrific, like a sexual assault. Or a relatively smaller thing, like witnessing animal abuse.

Some have that moment as a child. Others not until an adult. And the lucky majority never have it.

But for those that do, something clicks and then breaks. A noticeable and sizeable shift happens. And from then on a sadness lingers and your perception of the world is tainted. A miasma descends and doesn’t leave.

And all of a sudden sad things aren’t simply just sad anymore. They’re devastating reminders of that moment and how everything has changed forever (and that’s one of the biggest realisations: the permanency of the change. That things have changed for good. Innocence is lost and not returning).

And going forward there’s always that brittleness and sensitivity inside of you that has to be catered for. You might cater to it via simple steps like avoiding negative news stories and not watching depressing films. Or more involved ones such as seeing a therapist and totally changing your lifestyle. Or you might go in that other more tempting direction and take up alcohol and drugs (those substances hit different after the moment. They transform into an all too attractive tonic to forget and to cope).

But either way, special compensation has to be made. Because otherwise the now evidently miserable world will engulf you entirely.

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